Let’s begin by arranging the following clusters of values in order of priority as you consider your personal preference.Is it more important in your opinion to know the truth, love and be loved, or have things under control? Most likely you value all of these, but which cluster is highest on your list? Obviously you shouldn’t choose the one you think I will admire most in you, or the one that those closest to you hope you will select. Just be honest. Whichever ends up third on your list isn’t necessarily of no value to you, but merely of lower value relative to the other clusters.
Now, on the graphic to the left write the letter ‘S’ inside the square, or the letter ‘C’ inside the circle, or the letter ‘T’ inside the triangle, depending on your preferred cluster of values. Only insert the letter in the shape of your top choice, leaving the other shapes blank. Got it?
Let’s move on to the next step.
How would you score yourself on a scale of 1 (low) to 3 (high) that measures how flexible your belief system is? Are you fiercely committed to what you believe, or are you constantly updating your knowledge and opinions as you go along? Would you consider your world – referring to the system of meaning that you have constructed around yourself – less or more reality-oriented? Do you test your beliefs on a regular basis to be sure they square with the way things really are, or would you regard yourself a person of strong convictions that you won’t let go of so easily?
If your belief system is flexible and reality-oriented and you regularly test and update your perspective on things, then give yourself a 3 (high). If you don’t think these qualities describe you at all, give yourself a 1 (low). If you’re somewhere in the middle (somewhat flexible and open-minded but still pretty set in your views), then go with 2 (moderate). Write your number to the right of the ‘equal’ sign next to the square.
Now, how would you score yourself on a scale of 1 (low) to 3 (high) that measures the strength of your relationships with others. Do you move quickly and easily into relationships – and just as easily out of them when partners become controlling and abusive? Is staying in a dysfunctional relationship preferable to being on your own? Would you agree with the statement that “love makes the world go round,” or have your efforts at love more often thrown you into a whirlpool of hurt and confusion? Do you seek out occasions and opportunities where you can meet people, make friends, and expand your network of social support?
If you get along with others and don’t very often get caught in conflicts, then give yourself a 3 (high). If you frequently get crosswise with people and have an impossible time untangling your feelings, give yourself a 1 (low). If you’re somewhere in the middle (preferring company but hesitant over jumping in), then give yourself a 2 (moderate). Write your number to the right of the ‘equal’ sign next to the circle.
Finally, how would you score yourself on a scale of 1 (low) to 3 (high) that measures how stable you are in yourself? Are you doubtful when it comes to your abilities and the support you need to succeed in life? Is it easy for you to give away your power and let others call the shots? Do you hide behind authority and work hard to shine glory on those in control, to such a degree that you have little light left of your own? Are you chronically anxious over the possibility of things not working out, or can you stay grounded come what may?
If you are anchored in your being and in touch with your source of creative power, then give yourself a 3 (high). If on the other hand you lack confidence in yourself and reality in general, give yourself a 1 (low). If you’re somewhere in the middle (capable of trusting but preferring to play it safe), then go with 2 (moderate). Write your number to the right of the ‘equal’ sign next to the triangle.
You should end up with a letter in one of the shapes and a number to the right of each shape. This is your Personality Code. You might be a C132 or a T213 or an S321, or something like that. The letter identifies your preferred locus of engagement with reality, at the level of your head (square), heart (circle), or gut (triangle); while the number sequence represents the relative clarity of consciousness across all three loci.
(For more context, see my introduction to Your Personality Code.)
The number range from 1 (low) to 3 (high) places you on a continuum of ego strength, where 1 is borderline, bipolar, and dissociative (not necessarily at clinical levels of pathology) and 3 is stable, balanced, and unified. As explained in previous posts, normal development will satisfy the individual’s need for security, attachment, and meaning, to the point where he or she is capable of (i.e., possesses sufficient ego strength for) transcending “me and mine” in the experience of self-actualization. The clarity and flow of consciousness in self-actualization is variously named power, love, or truth depending on the favored locus (gut, heart, or head respectively) of the individual.
Your gut (particularly the digestive organs and glands) is where the raw materials of nutrition undergo conversion into the mass and energy of your body. For that reason it is the portal of consciousness into its own grounding mystery and the deep source of your creative power. This is also why, when your security is threatened or your power is momentarily lost, you feel upset in your gut.
Your heart is where you make emotional connection to what’s around you, most importantly to those human others – family, friends, strangers, and enemies – who collectively shape your personal identity. It is the portal of consciousness into the realm of relationships, your center of empathy and love. For this reason, you might speak of a loss of love as heartbreak and experience it as pain or heaviness in your chest.
And your head (mind) is where the mental construct of a world is made out of your assumptions, beliefs, thoughts, and intuitions of meaning. It is also the portal of consciousness into reality on the other side of meaning, which shines though (or burns away) the veil in moments of truth. However, if the veil is too opaque to let in the light of reality … or we might also say, if a naturally questing intelligence is locked inside inflexible and outdated convictions, this ignore-ance of what’s really real can cause mental fatigue and migraine headaches.
The Personality Code is not intended to render a diagnosis and lay one more identity contract on you. But perhaps it can be useful in helping you see why you get poked and hung up the way you do sometimes. It might also suggest a way through the suffering to a more authentic and fulfilled life.